Mondegreens!! What are they you say? Well, it's the term given to a misheard lyric. My favourite misheard lyrics site, kissthisguy.com is sadly no longer taking any more submissions. Fortunately, I have plenty mondegreens of my own.

"Why Bother?" - Weezer
actual lyric: "Why bother? It's gonna hurt me"
mis-heard lyric: I heard this alternately as "My father's gonna hurt me" and the more puzzling "White father/gonna hurt me". I still can't sing the right words even after learning the truth.

"Ticket to Ride" - The Beatles
actual lyric: "She's got a ticket to ride and she don't care"
mis-heard lyric: "She's gotta take it to Ron's"
When she was a kid my friend Jenn always thought the Beatles were singing about a girl who had to take her car to the local auto shop which was called–-wait for it–-Ron's.

"Groove is in the Heart" - Dee-Lite
actual lyric: "Groove is in the heart"
mis-heard lyric: "Groove is in the hall"
Thanks, Paloma.

"Thirteen" - Big Star
actual lyric: "Tell your dad get off my back"
mis-heard lyric: "Tell your dad get off my bike"
I had visions of the overbearing father of Alex Chilton's girlfriend trying to ride his brand new bicycle or motorcycle (but why would a 13 year-old be riding a motorcycle? Maybe I got the idea from the "would you be an outlaw for my love" line later in the song.

"Daydream Believer" - The Monkees
actual lyric: "Cheer up sleepy Jean"
mis-heard lyric: "Cheer up sweet bejesus"
One of my mother's. Oddly enough, I heard her mis-heard lyric as "Cheer up, sweep your jeans" making it the world's first double mondegreen? You can find more Monkees mondegreens at Sleepy Jean's Mondegreens.

"Voulez Vous" - Abba
actual lyric: "We know the end, masters of the scene"
mis-heard lyrics: "...masters of the sea"

"Build Me Up Buttercup" - the Foundations
actual lyric: "I'll be beside the phone waiting for you"
misheard lyric: "I'll be your xylophone waiting for you"

"Beetlebum" - Blur
actual lyric: "he's on, he's on, he's on it."
Misheard lyric: "piss on, piss on, piss on it."
I thought it was a bit strange at the time...

"Rebel Rebel" - David Bowie
actual lyric: "hot tramp, I love you so"
misheard lyric: "hot pants, I love you so"
I can always make it out when I hear it but whenever I sing it to myself I sing "hot pants". It just seems to fit!

"Volunteers" - Jefferson Airplane
actual lyric: "Hey I'm dancing down the streets. Got a revolution Got to revolution... One generation got old, one generation got soul"
misheard lyric: "Hey I'm dying down in the streets. Counter-revolution, Counter-revolution... Our generation got old, our generation got sold"
OK, now you have to admit that mine are better than the original. I mean the hippies DID get old, and they certainly got sold (out). At least the line "this generation got no destination to hold" is correct. I still hold out hope I'm right since I read the lyrics on the internet. If not at least I'll always have CCR's "Fortunate Son".

"Karma Chameleon" - Culture Club
actual lyric: "Karma karma karma karma karma chameleon"
misheard lyric: "Come a' come a' come a' come a' come a' don't leave me girl"
Yes, you'd have thought that the title would've given me a hint...

"Waterfall" - Stone Roses
actual lyric: "The wind it just whips her and wails, and fills up her rickety sails"
misheard lyric: "...fills up her brigantine sails."
I'm still not convinced it's "rickety"...the word "brigantine" does exist and it has to do with sailing...look it up.

"Morning Glory" - Oasis
actual lyric: "need a little time to wake up, wake up"
misheard lyric: "Need a little time to wank off, wank off"
I actually didn't hear it this way, but someone on the net pointed it out and now I can't hear it any other way.

"Fox In the Snow" - Belle and Sebastian
actual lyric: "fox in the snow"
misheard lyric: "fucks in the snow"
Another one I read on the net that has ruined the song for me!

"A Little Soul" - Pulp
actual lyric: "I look like a big man, but I've only got a little soul"
misheard lyric: "I look like a piglet, but I've only got a little soul"
Off the alt.music.pulp newsgroup

"My Weakness Is None of Your Business" - Embrace
actual lyric: "you could be the first in the universe who's glad they're watered down"
misheard lyric: "you could be the first in the universe's glare who wanted me"
I think my lyrics make more sense than the original...slightly.

"Same Old Flame" - Sloan
actual lyric: "I ate Italian in Germany"
misheard lyric: "I hate Italian and Germany"

"Wherever I Lay My Phone (That's My Home)" - Super Furry Animals
actual lyric: "She's got Citys and Guilds"
misheard lyric: "She's got sensitive gills"
Though with the Furries you can never be sure those aren't the words!

"Bonzo Goes to Bitburg" - The Ramones
actual lyric: "My brain is hanging upside down"
misheard lyric: "Reagan's hanging upside down"
Well, the song is about Reagan...

"The Bitterest Pill (Is Hard to Swallow)" - The Jam
actual lyric: "the bitterest pill is mine to take. If I took it for a hundred years I couldn't feel anymore ill"
misheard lyric: "...I couldn't feel anymore hate"
actual lyric: "the promise of your kiss, but with someone else"
misheard lyric: "the promise of your kiss, hot with someone else"

OTHER MONDEGREEN PAGES:
Compendium of Misunderstood Lyrics - After kissthisguy, the best mondegreen site around.

The Ants are my Friends(they'e blowin' in the wind) - An explanation of the word "mondegreen"

Candy Apple Pee: Misheard Beach Boys lyrics - Beach Boys fans have dirty, dirty minds!